The winners of the
nerve.com Bad Erotica Contest, a sort of specialised version of the
Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, only devoted to bad erotic prose, of the sort more suited to inspiring laughter (and possibly celibacy) than lust.
His wiry hands grasped desperately at her continental breasts, his breath coming hoarse and urgent, like a sailor onboard ship first spotting a sea-cow.
"Oh, Marija!" he panted.
(via MeFi)