The Null Device

You know you're a Londoner if...

30 signs of being a Londoner:

2. You have never been to The Tower of London or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton

4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

9. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

19. The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.

24. You don't hear sirens anymore.

25. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air/water quality and what it's doing to your insides.

29. You roll your eyes and say 'tsk' at the news that someone has thrown themselves under a tube train.

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